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    January 10

    随一支烟消耗

     
    已经不记得自己是从什么时候开始抽烟的了。这么多年了,不上瘾,也一直不能戒掉。其实对于烟这种东西,我始终不太能分辨它的好坏,也并不欣赏它的味道。很同意伤城里面的说法:“酒是因为难喝才好喝的”。烟也是一样。
     
    刘以达有一首很不出名的歌叫做“晚节不保”,喜欢,第一次听简直有惊艳的感觉,虽然这个家伙的嗓子实在一般。
    “。。。。唯有告诉你,我的苦恼,随一支烟消耗
    忘了告诉你,我的路途,看不见你苍老
    。。。谁在乎晚节会不保,笑一笑,已苍老。。。”
     
    听这样的歌,会觉得,抽烟似乎也有了正当的理由。特别是当自己也像歌中唱的那样,在随一支烟消耗,随一支烟变老
     
    不知不觉中,时间已经从涓涓细流变成了洪水猛兽,一年与一年之间,一次邂逅与一次邂逅之间,一支烟与一支烟之间,有那么多东西已经被改变,被消耗,无声的丧失
     
    失去并不令我悲伤,也许是那些令我在乎的东西已经越来越少了吧。只有记忆,那些虚幻的影像才会令人真正感到悲从中来。我想停留在原地,我想永远保有年轻的容颜,这样,在千山万水人来人往中,我们才永远不会变得陌生。
     
    然而谁能做到呢?每个人都不由自主的被时间的洪流带走,越走越远。写在水上的文字会渐渐消失,而那些悲伤,那些过去的影子,好像茫茫太空中独自旅行的宇宙飞船,不为人知也无从遗忘,不知道它们会去哪里,只是在黑暗的,遥远的某处,暗暗的反射着微光

    在镜子前点燃一支烟,看着它慢慢消耗。就在微笑的那一瞬间,悄然苍老。

    Comments (1)

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    毅 刘wrote:
    长久以来一直在追寻生命的终极意义。
    除了找个配偶把自己的DNA传给下一代,我找不到站得住脚的理由。。。我困惑
    人说每一个生命都是一个奇迹,可每天看着在地铁里睁着一双双空洞的眼睛的“奇迹”。。。我困惑
    当我知道我身体里每一个夸克乃至整个壮丽激昂的宇宙的诞生只不过是出自一次物理过程“偶然”失衡。。。我更加困惑
    以此共勉吧:
    世界越来越陌生,
    生死百态越来越复杂。
    无过去无未来,
    非独有之激烈片刻,
    而是时时刻刻燃烧的一生。
                          ——T.S.Eliot
     
    Jan. 15

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